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Hearts Love 33

       


Kaden Spencer Tressler

July 5, 2002 ~ April 20, 2019 (age 16)

It is with a heavy heart that brings me to announce the passing of one of my own. Sometimes our lives take strange, winding roads. Sometimes, we find ourselves in places we never imagined in our wildest of dreams. Sometimes, life takes our breath away for wonderful reasons and sometimes for horrible reasons. Sometimes, we feel as though life is cruising in the sunshine and sometimes it feels as though the torrent is unrelenting. Sometimes, we turn a corner to find unexpected horror and sometimes unexpected beauty. 

The most recent turn in our family’s road has brought us to our knees…yet again. Kaden was passed from my care to his father’s Saturday evening, when he took his own life. His father, who passed 3 1/2 years ago, was waiting with open arms to gather in his little boy. He is taking over the privilege of raising him, it is his turn now. It breaks my mother heart to relinquish the time I had with Kaden after only 16 1/2 years, not nearly not nearly not nearly long enough. 

Once upon a time, a local community, a church family, a circle of the truest friends, and a mortal family came to our aid in a mobilization of love and support so swift, so effective and so completely, it would rival the best of the world’s militaries. Yet again, and sure enough, a different local community, a different church family, those same true friends, and that same mortal family answered the call once again in the same miraculous fashion. I shake my head in wonder at the ability and sheer power of a force of people united in love and purpose. That power is enough to fight back the darkness that threatens to overwhelm in times such as these. To watch my fellow man, some known to me and some not, step onto a battlefield to stand between my family and the impending darkness and sorrow at such a time, swords of service and love and action drawn…words cannot express the humility and gratitude I feel. To the depths of my very soul…I thank you. My children thank you. Spencer thanks you. Kaden thanks you. From my little family, some here, some on the other side…we thank you. 

I have seen much sorrow in life, but it has also afforded me unprecedented access to peek behind the curtain and bear witness to the real mettle of my fellow man…to truly see what people are made of. And my friends, make no mistake…people are made of the stuff of angels. 

Although God and I have had our differences over the years as I’ve struggled to understand the plan for my life, I have never doubted that there is a God, that He loves us to pieces, and that He has a grand plan in play for our lives. Jesus Christ is real, my friends. His love is real, His healing power is real, His ability to succor us perfectly and uniquely is real, the fact that He is my Brother is real. I’m not going to pretend that knowledge makes the pain any less right now, but it allows me to grieve in the light instead of the dark. 

Lastly, suicide is real. It haunts our children who struggle and brings fear to the parents who battle it out in the trenches to save their children. I am no expert but I’ve lived through enough to know this…when we hold our anger, our fear, our grief, our sorrow…when we hold our stories inside, they make our hearts sick. Those feelings left unsaid for too long or too many times, they will poison our heart and eventually our minds to the point it proves fatal...ending in suicide. Feelings of that nature are not meant to stay in the dark. Satan does his best work in the dark, he is most effective in the dark. Every time we choose to give a sincere and truthful voice to our hurt and release the pain by telling our story to a parent or counselor or teacher or leader or trusted healthy friend, it’s a dose of antibiotics for the heart. It wards off sickness. Don’t keep secrets about the way you feel. Sometimes all that is needed is for us to be able to share our story and have someone look into our eyes and say, “I see you. I hear you. I feel what you are saying. Now I have a little bit of your story and I will hold it for you so it isn’t so heavy and you aren’t carrying it alone anymore.” Few things in the human experience are more beautiful than two of God’s children connecting in a moment of realness and validating each other’s experience. We must be brave and open our mouths to release our story. We must be brave and prepare ourselves to be a safe place for their words. To the parents of hurting children: Don't assume that because they aren't talking they don't have anything to say. Petition them, lovingly prod, coax their story from the dark to the light. My friends that are hurting: Say it. Speak it. Release it. Give it a voice. Bring those feelings out of the dark and into the light. It could save your very life #justsayit

I know many of you want to share your love and offer your condolences. We will bury Kaden as a family and grieve more privately this time. However, we want anyone and everyone, whether you know him or not…to come celebrate him with us at an open house Saturday night,  April 27, 2019 from 6:00 -8:00 pm at the church located at 1250 East 200 South, Pleasant Grove, Utah. Casual dress .

Hope Squad, Your Tribe Clothing and JDawgs will be there.

Please come and grieve IN THE LIGHT.

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